Date:	2006-02-16 02:10
Subject:	Still Awake
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

Now I remember why I don't stay up late anymore. It gives me to much time to think. I think about how it used to be and the people who used to be around and how much fun we had and how much I really miss some of them.

Date:	2006-02-16 01:04
Subject:	I Shoud Be Asleep
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful
Music:	Switchfoot ~ Stars

Wow I can't remember the last time I was up this late when I had to work the next morning. That is sad. I have turned into such an old person, when did that happen? I have been wondering why and how I used to say up so late in the dorm and still was able to function the next day, I think they put something in the air.
I was pleasantly surprised by Valentines Day this year. I honestly was not expecting anything, but Palmer actually got me a gift. And it was not just like the typical flowers or candy, he got me this cool vintage radio to go on the bookshelf, I was very impressed. It was nice to feel like he actually thought about it and it was not one of those last minute things. It is sad how much I needed to feel like that.

Date:	2006-02-10 20:19
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	Silence

I forgot how much I love 2 hour naps.

Date:	2006-02-09 11:24
Subject:	A morning off
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Switchfoot " This is your Life"

So I have been up deciding what to do with my morning off, but I realized that it is almost 11:30 and I have to be at work at 2 so I guess the answer to that question is probably get ready for work. I have to close again tonight lets just hope that one of my framers does not make me cry again because that sucks.

I have been thinking a lot about my life lately. I wonder have I just gotten stuck in whats safe and forgotten how to take risks. Ok to much thinking for me it makes my head hurt, stupid thinking.

I read all the comment for my last journal entry and they made me laugh a lot. I have not opened the Italian desert wine yet, but we will see how long that will lasts.

Date:	2006-02-03 22:00
Subject:	I am back!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

Ok so I have surrendered to peer pressure. I am back. So instead telling everyone about what has been going on in my life for the last year, I am just gonna start off with what is going on now, because to be honest the other stuff is pretty boring.

Ok so yesterday was so much fun. Me and Lindsey spent 4 hours at Northlake :) it was fun. We started off the afternoon with lunch and drinks (I love being 21) at this great place in the mall called The Grape. Then it was off to circle the mall about three times. We found everything we were looking for except new shoes for me but I am picky so that is not shock to me. I also finally caved and decided since I got a raise I am gonna splurge on a Coach purse.
After shopping we were off to dinner with David. Fridays is always fun. We talked and smoked and had some food. Dinner with friends is a great way to finish off a great day.
Today I worked X. But at least I got good food at the end of the day. Me and Sara went to the chines restaurant across the street, it was pretty good. Then we sat and watched girly TV because the boy was out for the night.

Ok so that is enough catching up for now. I promise next time I will be more insightful and meaningful but for now I am too tired for that. I have to open tomorrow 7:30am I have not gotten up that early in months, but we will see. Night Night.
And yes I know it is only 10:30 at night. And I know I am sad.

Date:	2005-02-16 00:45
Subject:	Midnight Ramble
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

So lately I have not been able to sleep. I can't really figure out why. All I do is sit in bed and think, that can not be healthy. In the last year so much has happen, so many people have come into my life and so many more have left. Sometime I wish I could just tell some of the people that are gone how much I miss them and how much they meant to me. So many of them changed my life forever. It is hard for me to believe that I am that same girl who left my small town in Wisconsin for collage in Charlotte. I have turned out different then I thought I would. Sometime I want that girl back, that is until I realize all the mistakes that girl made, and I wish I could change it all, sometimes. And I know that is what makes me who I am today but FUCK IT. There are so many thing I want to do over again. I honestly think there is something wrong with me I am the queen of pretending everything is alright, I don't know why I feel like I always have to be the ok one, but hell I guess I will always pretend to be the strong one. I hide so much of myself from the world that I wonder if I even know who I really am. Wow I think way to much. Why do I have so much trouble letting people in. I mean I don't even let Palmer in completely, the poor boy I love him so much and because I am so messed up and thinking all the time he has too sleep on the couch to even get a few hours of sleep. I am a terrible person and I have a fucking wall built up around my heart and I still can't let him through it completely. Why? It is not that I question how much I love him or how much he loves me I just feel like I can never let anyone know me completely. I am so broken. I mean for gosh sake it is not like I have ever been terribly hurt. I feel bad because I have also been distancing myself from all my friends lately I have totally not meant to and it make me feel like a terrible person I have just been ignoring everyone lately,I should really stop it, I am sorry to all of you who I have ignored lately. I just can't stop thinking and I can't stop running from what ever is in my head. And my way of doing that is by shutting the world out. Ok I think that is enough for now who know give me another few hour and maybe I will come up with more.

wow I am a slacker. I am terrible at this live journal thing. So exams sucked but what is new. Break was good. Christmas was good I got good gift and I hope everyone liked their gift. I got to go home (and by home I mean Wisconsin in the apartment in which my mom currently resides) for a week, it was really nice to see all of my friend back home exspecially Mary. New Year was fun I am glad people came. Some people were not what I expected, I feel bad that I did not get to see some people as much as others, but I feel like I saw too much of some people. Work sucks and I am never going to get my transfer. A new semester has started and it is really nice to be completely on my own and having great people around me. My life would not be the same without my friends, you all know who you. Ok back to my job, the promotional stuff I do.
PS If anyone knows where I can find a giant pill bottle let me know I need it for work.

Date:	2004-10-29 15:12
Subject:	oops.. I forgot
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy
Music:	The Von Bondies (for Sam's computer)

I am still getting used to this livejournal thing, so I have not be updating it much but here is a new one for you. Halloween is upon us and I am excited. I am so happy to have the friends I have you are all the best and Denies thank you for letting my cry to you and Mary you know he will pay you back even though he is a stupid ass. It has been an interesting few week I am moving YEAH!!!! I really need to be closer to campus and my friends, so Palmer and I are moving on November 23!!!! Yeah for Moving. I hate Michael's but it pays the bill, however I am going to start to look for a new job next week because I really need to be closer to my new apartment. I voted the other day, it made me feel all important and what not, I thought to myself why have I not done this before and then I realized that I am only 20 and this is the first Presidential election I could vote in, but whateva. I found out that the BA Christmas Party is December 29th so I am probably going home for that so I can see all my friends at home, and BA parties are always interesting. I had a really busy week last week I had like 3 test and a paper due I was a little stressed and crazy, but what is new. Ok I think that is all for now hope everyone is doing well and I will post more often I promise.

Date:	2004-10-06 14:53
Subject:	La Di Da
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy
Music:	ITUNES

I have been neglecting my journal of late, and I must apologize. I have been busy but not quite as busy as some of my friends( my sympathies go out to Denise, Mickey, David and Lindsey G) I have finally taken on the task of cleaning my room and bathroom. I finished the bathroom yesterday and the bedroom is about half done. Have I mentioned how much I hate cleaning. Cleaning X! My hours at work have been cut and it is really making me anger I hate my manager, she told me that is would be impossible to give me two weekend in a row off and since I went to the mountains this past weekend for work I can't go to Jessica's baby shower and I feel terrible. Managers X! The mountains were fun, I love student media, it is most definitely "The Greatest Place on Earth." I miss all my friend back in Wisconsin and I know I have been neglecting them, it makes me sad that I really only get to talk to Mary. Ok I am at the office so I should try and actually do work. Bye bye everyone for now!

Date:	2004-09-26 01:02
Subject:	Sickness X
Security:	Public
Mood:	drained
Music:	the humming of the air conditioner

So I got sick this week and it really sucks, I won't go into to many details but too much blood lose apparently lead to Anemia. I puked a few times and sleeped a lot.
I am starting to feel better though, but I have a feeling I am not going to be completely better for a while, well at least that is what the doctor told me. I have basically slept all week and I am still tried and weak, well it could be because I force myself to go to work, but hey I got to pay rent.
Palmer started work this weekend, he is so excited and I am so happy for him. But I am worried about how he is gonna balance school and work.
Now I feel stupid I am sitting, well lying here, try to think of some catchy way to end this but it just not gonna happen, too much brain power required.

Date:	2004-09-20 15:56
Subject:	Car Problems
Security:	Public
Mood:	gloomy
Music:	Palmer talking about cars

So lately I have known so many people with car problems. First Palmer's front end broke on his way home from Richmond, luckily he was not far from his mom's house and he got it fixed and came home. Then the breaks on my van went bad and it was $360 to fix it, it really sucked. Then my mom was driving to Madison to see family and her car broke down and she had to get it towed. Also Jonah, my roommates b/f needs a transmission for his truck. Finally I was look at my best friend Sarah's away message last night and her van is broken down too. WOW it sucks to be my friend or family because your car will breakdown.

Date:	2004-09-13 11:03
Subject:	My intersting weekend
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	Club 997 on itunes

So first of all I work too much, from Friday till Sunday I worked a total of 24 hours, which means I wasted for an entire day at Michael's Arts an Crafts. That is just too much time, I really need to quit that place but where else am I gonna get paid $8.50 an hour. But oh well I will survive I guess. Well to be honest the rest of my weekend was not really any better. On Saturday morning at like 10am I locked myself out of my car at the gas station across the street for my apartment, and I would have just walked BUT my keys were in the damn car. So normally I would have called Palmer but since he was at his mom, because I was working to much. I had to call Jackie and I felt terrible because she was babysitting and she had to drag a four year old with her, have I mentioned how great my roommate is, I love you Jackie thank you. After that fiasco I had to go find this stupid book for Western Culture, which no book store in Charlotte other then the campus bookstore carries. Of course I did not find this out till after I ventured all across town at 11 o'clock in the morning, when I could have been sleeping. So I went home and downloaded the damn book from amazon.com. And then I went to work at 4pm till 1 AM, yes 1 AM. But it did get a little better when I got home I had a nice little surprise on Saturday night, well technically Sunday morning. Lindsey was there and we got to sped sometime together this weekend and I really miss spending time with her. It is just so hard when she live on the other side of town and we only have one class together. I miss being able to walk down the hall and just chill with her. So it made my weekend that she was there and we got to spend a little time together. Ok I am gonna stop complaining now sorry that my first entry was just full of whining, but I really had a sucky weekend. Ok buhbye for now all. Hope all of your weekends were better then mine.

HELLOW